Farewell to a Friend

Francis McDonald ~ Gone but never forgotten


Yesterday I got some terrible news. My husband and I were in Las Vegas for a flag football tournament that he was playing in. We had just gotten back to the hotel after dealing with the theft of his fanny pack from his gym bag. Apparently, someone made off with it while my husband's team was playing and I was taking team photos. They got his checkbook and his cell phone, not to mention his wallet, driver's license and several credit cards.

But that wasn't the terrible news. We got back to the hotel room, and I checked my email. I got a note saying that a very dear friend had passed away sometime Friday or Saturday. His neighbor had gone to check on him as he had been ill for several months, and found that he had died in his apartment alone.

Of all of the things that have been happening over the past few months, this is the most difficult to face. I knew he had been ill, but I really wasn't prepared for his death. He was a very gentle and wise soul, as well as one of the most gifted musicians I have ever had the honor of knowing. I had the wonderful experience of not only working with him in the recording studio, but also performing with him onstage. I can only thank God that I was able to share a few moments of my life with such a man, and I am a better person for having known him.

Godspeed, my friend. You will be missed and always remembered.

There is no Justice

It's always darkest just before it goes pitch black


The worst has happened.

They have destroyed me. The studio reps walked into the Unemployment Hearing on Tuesday morning and lied. Instead of bringing my former supervisor, they brought in that fat f*** IT manager, who sat under oath and lied to the judge about my computer habits. I was so stunned at the fact that he perjured himself so blatantly, that I was hardly able to respond to any of the judge's questions. He told the judge that I re-installed my Windows 2000 operating system in order to change the administrator password on the desktop and lock them out of their computer. I pointed out in the cross-examination that it would have been impossible unless I had the original administrator password, which I did not. I did not change the administrator password on the desktop. But they were counting on the chance that the judge would be just as computer-illiterate as most of the studio management personnel. They were right.

Besides, if I had the original administrator password so I could re-install Windows 2000 on their company PC, then why would I have had to go through all of that anyway? I could have just changed it without reinstalling anything. They LIED. THEY LIED.

Then they said the reason they had been going through the computer in the first place was to look for a letter that had been faxed to the corporate office. It was an anonymous letter from a client -- he had been concerned about the general attitude of the warehouse personnel (see link at the bottom of this page if you want to read the letter). He called me to see if I would be willing to pass it along to the appropriate management personnel, and when I said sure, I had him email it to my Yahoo email address. He wanted to remain anonymous, so I said not to send it to my work email address. I didn't ask why he wanted be remain anonymous -- I assumed he had his reasons and it wasn't any of my business.

I read the letter, considered his request and decided that he had a very valid concern that the upper management needed to hear, and faxed it to the corporate office without saving the document. His email stayed in a folder in my Yahoo account.

Well, they walked into the unemployment hearing and told the judge that I wrote the letter. They admitted that they couldn't find the document on my hard drive, but in the process of looking, they had found my "unauthorized" Zip drive (another lie -- they SUGGESTED that I get that. In fact, the last time my office was moved, they RE-HOOKED IT UP for me when they moved the computer to the new office) and all of the alleged "changes" I had made to the administrative permissions on the machine. They brought a copy of the letter as evidence.

I didn't write the letter. I think they were surprised when I admitted that I had faxed the letter to the corporate fax number, but I did NOT write it. But I think it was the thing that finally allowed that fat f*** to find a way to get rid of me. But I still cannot believe that he sat there and lied under oath. It was the final nail in my professional coffin.

The end result of all of this came on Thursday in the mail. I was notified that my Unemployment benefits have been revoked. The judge said I was "evasive" and he obviously believed their side of the story, probably because to do any investigating of the facts would have been too time consuming. Besides, he was quite obviously well-acquainted with the attorney rep they brought with them -- she stayed behind after our hearing because she was representing the next hearing with the same judge. Their dog & pony show, complete with a "timeline" document listing all of my alleged transgressions (written just for the occasion, I am sure) confused the judge enough about the computer issues that he bought their story and revoked the lousy $370 a week that was keeping me barely afloat. Now I have no income at all, and no replies to the hundreds of letters and resumes I send every week.

I don't know what I'm going to do.

Belly up to the bar, Boys

Nobody tips a nasty bartender


Six days until my unemployment hearing. I'm not sleeping again and when I do sleep, I wake up several times during the night in a cold sweat, panicking. The stress from the past few months is taking a toll -- my hair has begun to fall out and I'm not even on chemo this time.

My job hunt has hit a dead end. I've started applying for listings that I feel I'm underqualified for -- the logic being that since potential employers don't want to hire me because they think I'm overqualified, then maybe I can snatch a position from a higher executive because they think HE (or she) is overqualified. I would definitely need a better wardrobe, though.

Ok. It's just an excuse to go shopping.

I have also started looking at job listings that are not in the film industry. I truly cannot imagine myself doing anything else at this point in my life, but if I lose my unemployment benefits, I may get desperate enough to seek out whatever I can get. After spending the last fifteen years on movie and television stages, the thought of going into another field scares the heck out of me. And truth to tell, I simply don't have an interest in banking or the hotel business. I've worked so hard to gain experience and knowledge in the entertainment field -- it would frankly break my spirit if I had to walk away and do something else. I suppose I could tend bar while I look for a film industry position. I've tended bar before. But I'm afraid that I would end up out of the loop and become bitter and that could cut into my tips.

Also today I went through a comprehensive list of all the commercial production companies I could find. Out of the 187 companies in the LA area, I found about 30 of them with which I have personally done business. I sent a little note with a copy of my resume to each of them, saying that I was available and was seeking a staff position as a Production Coordinator or Producer. It was terribly time consuming, but I figured it couldn't hurt and it might at least open up a dialogue with these people. If anything, they might contact me out of curiosity to ask me what happened. Even if I get some freelance work, it will get me back into the regular swing of things and hopefully lead to something more permanent.

I will try doing this with TV and motion picture production companies next, although getting contact information is more difficult than with commercial companies. This is largely due to the fact that many companies are created specifically for a single film or TV show, so there are literally thousands of them. The hard part is trying to figure out with which major studio or larger production company they are affiliated, if any. Many of them were created by TV and film actors, and so trying to find a fax number or email address is pretty tricky. Sometimes they refer you to the actor's agent or manager, who is trained to weed out any unsolicited materials, therefore rendering all of your homework useless, as your letter and resume end up tossed.

The best way to deal with this situation, I've found, is to simply go for a mass market inundation of my materials, and hope that one or two resumes might make it in. I have heard that sometimes they will call you simply because they have seen your name so many times, they think you're "somebody".

It's ridiculous that I have to jump through so many hoops just to get a job.