Priorities

One of my colleagues at work died at the office today. He was diabetic but in very good shape. The paramedics said it looked like a stroke, which has shocked us all.

It made me remember again how precious life and friendships are, and just how fragile we all are.

I have never met most of you, but I want you to know that all of you have become very important people to me. I care about you and I care about what happens to you, how you feel, if you're happy, everything.

Even if we never meet (but I really hope we do), it's important to me that you all know that.

Dark

There are things in this world that no matter how much support you have, no matter how many people you have on your side, ultimately must be faced alone.

Somehow you have to summon up the strength from within and nobody can help with that. It's easier during daylight -- there's always something to distract you, work to do, places to go..

But in the deep recess of night, you're alone with it; nothing to hide behind. Sleep evades you and you're left staring into the dark, mind racing, listening to your heart pound and those small voices in the back of your head whispering doubts and fears into your consciousness. And there isn't a soul on the face of the earth that can save you.

Finally you give up and turn on the lights to chase away those little voices. Open your computer, turn on the TV, anything to make a little noise to mask the fear hissing in your mind, the terror stealing in and picking pieces out of the edges of your reality. It helps, the light, the noise. For a while.

You know you have to face it, sooner or later. But not tonight.